


Endless Struggle (Saeran x Reader)

by sondepoch



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Birthday, Completed, Cute, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Mint Eye, Music, Oneshot, Piano, Reader Is Not Main Character (Mystic Messenger), Short, ray x reader - Freeform, saeran x reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:48:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23383291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sondepoch/pseuds/sondepoch
Summary: Saeran's birthday is approaching and you don't know what to get him. At least, until you hear him play the piano.~Oneshot
Relationships: Choi Saeran/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 70





	Endless Struggle (Saeran x Reader)

Saeran's birthday was coming up.

Well, not really—his birthday was almost two months away—but the special date you'd circled in red on your calendar was definitely approaching, and quicker than you wanted it to.

_What should I get him?_ You wondered, daydreaming about all the ways you could draw forth his cute smile. The boy was normally so stoic: distant and hardened from years of taking Elixirs and doing the Savior's dirty work. But beneath all the anger and rudeness you knew that he had a softer side, even if he only showed it to you.

_What to get him..._

You couldn't buy flowers.

That was your gift last year. And the year before, you'd helped him select the magenta blazer that he'd loved so much he bought three more pairs of it—though was back when he was still Ray, and before he donned the black suit.

You groaned.

You really, _really_ wanted to get him something good. Something he'd love. Something that would wash away the tired look in his eyes, leaving only the fresh expression of wonder and happiness.

But what?

Since the new year had begun, you'd been wondering what to get Saeran at the back of your mind. _Months_ had passed, and you still had no idea! _Woe is me_ , you thought, pouting.

But if you couldn't come up with anything on your own, then you'd just need to find Saeran and _ask_ him. Not directly, of course. A girl has to be subtle.

"Saeran~" You cooed, knocking and opening the door of the Development Room where Saeran spent all his time. The boy blinked at you in surprise.

"(Y/N)?" He asked warily as you wrapped him in a hug from behind. "What are you doing here? Don't you have work?"

"I got bored!" You explained. "And the Savior has given all disciples the day off to prepare for tonight's Recruitment Ceremony."

Saeran sighed, and you saw the hardness fade from his eyes ever-so-slightly. "Then shouldn't you be off, preparing?"

"I prepared last week. I didn't know that she'd be giving us special time off. So come spend some time with me! You've been cooped up in this room for, what, the past twenty hours?"

Saeran looked away, saying nothing.

"Even longer?" You frowned.

"Doesn't matter," He muttered sullenly.

You rolled your eyes, pulling Saeran's arm. "I never said I'd go with you!!" He shouted, but he allowed you to drag him along nonetheless. Honestly, you didn't know where you were taking him, only vaguely aware that you somehow needed to find out what his new hobbies were so that you could buy him a fitting birthday gift, but for the present moment all that mattered was that you'd managed to steal the boy from his work, and your eyes were bright with the promise of a _whole_ afternoon with the hacker.

"The flower garden?" He asked, somewhat disappointed. "You know I don't like this place."

That much was true. Your legs brought you here on your own, perhaps reminiscent of the time you'd kissed Saeran here three years ago. _No,_ you reminded yourself firmly. _The man I kissed was Ray. Not Saeran. Saeran doesn't see me that way._ And it hurt to admit it, but that was the truth.

"There's a specific flower I wanted to show you," You informed Saeran, wrapping your hand around his and pulling him to the spot you'd been at yesterday. "I think you might like it."

"I don't like flowers," Saeran murmured, but he let you lead the way.

You stopped at the location where you'd spent at least ten minutes the prior night, swooning at the beauty of the plant, and let out a cry of disbelief. "It's not here!"

"Hm?" Saeran raised his eyebrows. "What's not here?"

"Yesterday, there was a really pretty plant bush that was growing multicolored flowers! The petals were (h/c) and white...and the buds were mint-colored and (e/c)...and I thought that you'd think it was cool because it reminded me of us." You frowned, unable to hide how upset you were. "Why would anyone pluck such a beautiful flower bush?"

You stared at the spot where once a lovely plant had grown and now all that was left was its dying roots, wallowing in your frustration.

"H-hey, don't be so sad," Saeran murmured, giving your shoulder a comforting squeeze. He sighed when you didn't respond. "Alright, come here," He murmured, outstretching his arms toward you while averting his eyes, a light pink painting his cheeks.

A soft smile graced your lips when you saw that. Saeran's hugs were rare, almost as rare as his smiles, and you never failed to cherish the moments when he was feeling kind enough to give one. You readily stepped into his embrace, finding comfort in his arms as they wrapped around you, ignoring the whispers of other believers in the gardens.

At least, you were able to ignore them. Without even looking up, you could tell that Saeran had intimidated them into silence with one of his glares, tightening his hold around you protectively.

You understood why the believers would whisper.

You and Saeran were an unlikely pair in the Mint Eye, as different from each other as day and night. Only you had seen the soft side of the white-haired boy, and to the rest of the world, he seemed like the persona he had adopted to hide his inner self: cold, mean, and _scary_.

You, on the other hand, were a ball of sunshine, always smiling and laughing and were friends with everyone.

Your friendship made little sense to others, but you knew that it was sound. Saeran was the mint and you were the magenta; the yin to your yang, the cool and the warmth, the shadow and the sunshine.

You pulled back from the hug, smiling warmly up at him. "Let's go!" Yet again, he didn't question you as you pulled him through the maze of the Mint Eye's halls, walking and walking and walking...until you couldn't pretend anymore. "Um, Saeran?" You asked, hesitant.

"Yes?"

"I think I'm lost."

Saeran laughed, not a condescending or arrogant laugh but a genuine, amused laugh. "I was wondering what you were doing here."

"'Here?' Where are we?"

"See that door over there?"

"Yeah."

"That's my room."

You almost choked. You'd never been in Saeran's room before, never even been close. He'd always visited yours whenever he came looking for you, and in all the years you were at the Mint Eye, you never bothered asking about his quarters because you knew that members of the Savior's council all had rooms at the very top of the Mint Eye, far beyond what anyone would consider normal walking distance.

"Is that why there were so many stairs?" You muttered, suddenly feeling tired at the thought of going all the way back. You'd wandered around for at least forty-five minutes before finding this place.

"What, are you tired?" Saeran teased, before realizing that he had the truth of it. "Oh. Well, here, come into my room, then."

You raised your eyebrows. You'd never been invited into another man's room...not even when Saeran had been Ray. _What message am I sending if I go into his room?_ You wondered, before feeling stupid. _Dummy. Saeran doesn't see me that way, and he never will._

You followed Saeran, surprised at how polished and neat everything was. "It's so bare," You murmured. His room was scant, furnished with only a small bed, an empty desk, and a piano in the far end. "There's so much empty space."

Saeran nodded at your words, straightening the quilt on his mattress before sitting on it. "I tend to sleep in the Development Room, so don't come here much. Even my clothes are there. This room is more of a...big closet, when you think about it."

You strolled over to the piano, studying the wood carefully before pressing a key. The note, rich and full, resonated throughout the room, but when you pulled your finger away there was dust on it.

"Ah, the Savior gave that to me when she first formed the Mint Eye. That was back when...when I still had free time to play." Saeran glanced at it wistfully, before crossing his arms. Something about the memory seemed to make him uncomfortable.

"Play something for me," You murmured, patting the mahogany piano bench. The instrument was a baby grand in all its glory, it was such a shame to let it stand forsaken and unplayed. "Play anything you want."

Saeran seemed hesitant at first, but he finally gave in to your hopeful eyes, taking his time to wipe the dust off the piano before settling his fingers over the keys. The silence before he began playing was overwhelming, not even the sound of breathing audible as you waited for Saeran to begin playing.

Then, the music started.

Instinctively, you closed your eyes. It was such a soft melody. Truly beautiful in every way: delicate, peaceful, calm. You basked in the tranquility of the phrase, loving every moment of it until Saeran moved on to the next, which you loved just as much, and the next, and the next, and the next.

Without you even realizing, the melody had turned from a gentle kitten to a roaring lioness, loud and confident and _bold_ , with Saeran throwing all his energy into hitting the keys, letting the notes echo off the walls until the air was filled with nothing but you, him, and the music.

The melody was climbing now, crescendoing to what you could only imagine would be the true climax of this piece, the burst of passion and excitement that the entire beginning had been leading up to. Saeran's fingers danced, nimble like dolphins jumping out of the water as his fingers soared from key to key, black to white, note to note.

And then he stopped.

"...Saeran?"

You opened your eyes, gazing down at the boy who was now staring sullenly at the keys. "I never learned past that. I don't know how it goes," He muttered, closing the fallboard and the conversation in one, abruptly standing up.

But you wouldn't give up.

"Do you...know the name of the piece?"

"No."

"The composer?"

"No."

"How about—"

"If you're so interested in the piano, you can play here when you want. Alone. When I'm _not_ here." You flinched at the roughness of Saeran's words, and he seemed to notice, his once hard gaze turning apologetic. "Sorry...here, I'll take you back."

You let the boy lead you back to your room in the Mint Eye in silence, mentally noting the path that he was making in case you ever wanted to return. At the back of your mind, you cursed. You'd originally sought out Saeran so that you could figure out what to get him for his birthday, and you were no closer to finding a gift at the end of the day than you were at the beginning.

_Unless_...

You stopped Saeran, telling him he could leave since you "had to use the bathroom," and that you knew the way to your room from here.

He raised an eyebrow at you as you dashed off, calling after you that the bathroom was in the opposite direction, but he could only smile as you continued running, well-aware that you were off on another one of your spontaneous quests in the Mint Eye.

Little did he know that _this_ time your journey would lead back to him. Two months in the months in the future. As his birthday present.

You couldn't suppress a smile from forming on your face when you finally found yourself in the Mint Eye's music library. The Savior had ensured that her believers would find true happiness in salvation, and so she had rooms for every pastime imaginable, music included.

It took you three minutes to find the piano section, whereupon you instantly began playing CD after CD, skipping tracks when you heard their beginnings, listening cautiously for the signature opening that Saeran had played for you less than an hour ago. _The piece has to be in here_ , you knew, resolving to return later when you had to leave for the Recruitment Ceremony.

And you held true to yourself, returning the following day and then all the days after.

You were almost done with all the pieces that started with A after two days, and it took you even less time to go through the B's. Finishing the C tracks took you a while, though, and by D you began to worry, fearing that you'd forgotten the melody of the piece.

_What if by the time I come across the piece he played, I've already forgotten the tune of it?_ You plugged in the first in the E's with hesitance, worried that your efforts were futile. _What if the piece he played isn't even in the music library?_

Whatever your concerns were, though, you didn't let them stop you from continuing. Evening stretched into night and night stretched into morning and you still hadn't heard anything that remotely resembled the piece Saeran had played for you until you were halfway through the E's.

You paused as soon as the track began playing, almost unwilling to believe it.

_Is this the piece?_ You wondered, listening to the soft opening. It was so soothing. So peaceful. _So familiar_.

But as the melody progressed and the piece continued, all the doubts in your mind faded. No question, this was the piece Saeran had played for you. It had the same variations in tempo, the same polyrhythmic texture, the same characteristic changes in dynamics, the same musical elegance.

You felt your heart swell as the peak of the song approached, and felt tears of joy prick your eyes when the track continued playing on where Saeran had stopped, completing the phrase and soon completing the song.

_This is it_ , you realized, pulling the track out and studying its name.

_Endless Struggle._

You checked the CD and the corresponding sheet music out of the music library with your keycard, making sure that the halls were empty before exiting. You felt giddy with excitement, elated at the fact that you'd _actually_ found it.

This would be the perfect gift!

You could wrap up the sheet music in a nice package, and give Saeran a chance to complete the memory he had started when he'd been younger. _Except..._ You frowned when you considered the flaws in your plan.

Saeran told you himself that he spent nearly all his time in the Development Room. If you gave him a piece to learn, it would be akin to you adding onto his workload. In other words, _a_ _bad birthday present._

You frowned once you'd reached your room, staring at the five sheets of paper in your hand before throwing them up in the air, watching as they floated to the ground. _Useless!_ You thought, feeling foolish. For nearly two weeks you'd spent every free moment in the music library searching for this piece, and it was all for naught! Even the name was indicative of your predicament. _Endless Struggle_ , you thought, realizing that finding a birthday present for Saeran really would be a struggle. 

Though you still hoped it wouldn't be an endless one.

You flopped onto your bed, allowing yourself to fall asleep without even bothering to take your shoes off. Sleep came quickly, after over a week of depriving yourself of rest to search for the piece.

In your dream, though, you were pulled into the past. Into a time forgotten, back before you'd been in the Mint Eye.

It was the first dream you'd had in a long time.

It was a short dream, the kind of dream that's more of a flashing memory than a true scene, but the recollection stirred something in the depths of your soul. _I took music lessons_ , you realized, remembering the pain and childhood frustration you'd endured at your parents' request. _I learned music theory. I studied composers._ Somehow, amidst all the Elixirs and responsibilities of serving the Savior, that piece of your past had been lost to you, existing only in the very depths of your mind.

_I learned music,_ you realized.

And when you awoke, immediately gazing at the five pieces of sheet music that were still lying haphazardly on the floor, you realized that all the knowledge you'd absorbed as a child was still with you.

You had never studied piano specifically, but surely you could learn, right? You checked your calendar, taking a quick glimpse at the number of days between then and Saeran's birthday. _A month and a half_ , you noted, glancing back at the pages.

It would be a struggle, that much was certain.

But if it was for Saeran's sake, it would be worth it.

_It's Tuesday_ , you noted, trying to remember what Saeran's schedule normally looked like. He shouldn't be expecting you for any reason, so he wouldn't notice if you were gone, right? You recalled Saeran's words: _"If you're so interested in piano, you can play here when you want. Alone. When I'm not here."_

He'd said those words to get you to shut up, no doubt, but he never revoked his words.

And it seemed that you were going to take him up on that offer.

You cautiously made your way to Saeran's room, only having to turn back and change paths twice before you finally found yourself inside his private quarters. It felt indecent, being in there without his explicit knowledge, but you were doing it for a good cause.

_I'll learn this whole piece and play it for his birthday_ , you decided. _That way he gets to hear the ending and I don't add to his workload and maybe, just maybe, I'll get to see another one of his smiles._

But it was easier said than done.

It took a good hour for you to get the first line down, and that was at half the tempo that the piece was supposed to be. And, if you remembered the piece correctly, this was the _easy_ part.

But by lunchtime, you'd found your bearings, and the first phrase sounded...almost decent. You clapped your hands together as soon as you finished a playthrough of the two lines you'd just learned, incredibly proud of your achievement.

It was slow, but it was steady.

You didn't leave the piano bench until it was time for your disciple duties, but after a week of skipping meals and putting all your free time to practice, you'd mastered the first page. In truth, the rate that you were learning was abysmal. You spent at least five hours in Saeran's room every day, just repeating the same part over and over again until your fingers obeyed your brain—which meant that it took you roughly thirty hours to get down one page.

_And there are four more to go._

But depressing as the speed of your progress was, you knew that you couldn't expect anything better, with your lack of a background in piano. On the bright side, you were able to master the second page with ease, but the third page...well the third and fourth pages were what made the song feel like an endless struggle.

By the time you'd learned the full piece, you'd probably pulled out hundreds of strands of hair just over the fourth page alone—but when you were able to play the full melody, from start to finish, without messing up, it suddenly seemed worth it.

You smiled, gazing down at the fingers that had brought the piano to life, overjoyed. You'd finally mastered the full piece, and you _still_ had a week until Saeran's birthday. _And it sounds just as beautiful as when Saeran played it_ , you noted with pride, before playing the piece from start to finish once more.

It felt surreal, as you played. It was as if you were high on the music itself, unable to feel or hear anything but the notes as you carried the melody to completion, completely lost in the world of music, so detached from your physical surroundings that you never heard the _click_ of the door as someone entered.

You finished playing the final _perdendosi_ notes to the piece, allowing the sustain pedal to let the notes linger in the air before you released, concluding not just the piece but your practice.

"So that's how the piece ends." You heard a familiar voice murmur, and you turned around sharply. "I'd been wondering why I was seeing less and less of you...but this may have been worth it."

There, right next to the closed door, stood Saeran, leaning back against the wall with a soft smile on his face. The very smile you'd been aching to see.

"No!" You exclaimed, suddenly upset.

Saeran raised an eyebrow at you. "What's wrong?"

"You..." You bit your lip. "You weren't supposed to hear it until your birthday..."

Saeran laughed, walking over to you where you still sat on the piano bench, sitting down next to you. He had a twinkle in his eye, and you could tell that hearing the piece played to completion had brightened up his day. "This will be my early birthday present, then."

"But now I have to come up with something new!"

"Shhh, princess," Saeran murmured into your hair, giving you a hug as he used the affectionate nickname you hadn't heard in so long. "Don't worry about that. This...this was perfect. I never imagined that you'd do something like this."

You turned to Saeran, your eyes still wide at the mention of the nickname 'princess.' The last time you'd heard it had been from Ray, back when he _loved_ you. Your heart began to beat faster at the very thought, but you were quick to control your emotions.

"I just wanted you to be happy," You murmured, returning the hug.

The boy looked down at you, studying you quizzically. "(Y/N)..." He murmured, before turning his head away from you with a huff. You didn't notice it, but if you'd looked closer you would have seen a faint blush on Saeran's cheeks.

"Youalreadymakemehappy." His words came out in a jumble, more of a mutter than anything else, and though you strained to hear what he was saying, you couldn't process anything more than a few words.

"What?" You inquired, trying to get the boy to repeat himself. "Say it louder. And slower."

Saeran exhaled sharply, running a hand through his already disheveled hair, making it even messier and only contributing to his ruggedly handsome look. "Don't make me say it again!"

"Say what?"

"Agh! (Y/N)!" He said your name in a whine, and at that point, you began to notice how red his ears were and how a rosy pink had bloomed on his cheeks. "I said," He turned his face to you, eyes turning serious. "You...you already make me happy."

You smiled up at the boy, immediately bouncing the compliment back at him, to which he groaned.

"Not like _that_...I mean..." Saeran looked at you for a second, before sighing, and all the frustration from before left him, leaving only a nervous expression. He brought his hands up from your waist to your face, where he cupped your cheeks. "You make me _really_ happy," He murmured softly before kissing your lips.

The kiss was surprisingly slow, more delicate than you'd expect from Saeran, who was usually so rough and callous in his ways. But you savored it, loving this side of him as well. It felt like a long time before either of you pulled away, the tension in the air suddenly replaced with a strange sense of calm.

You looked up at Saeran, unable to hide the smile from your face. "I think I just had an idea of what I do for your _actual_ birthday," You teased, winking playfully up at the boy.

His face erupted in flames, and he immediately shifted back, unable to meet your eyes as he glanced instead at the sheet music. "Endless Struggle...so that was the name of the piece. How fitting."

"Yeah," You responded, showing him the fourth page. "The number of times I felt like giving up here really was made me feel like it really was an endless struggle. It's a pretty fitting name, if you think about it.

"No, I mean..." Saeran put the sheet music down, turning back to you. "Not being able to do _this_ was the struggle," He leaned forward and trapped you in a chaste kiss, letting his lips linger before pulling back. "But I'm glad it wasn't endless."

You wrapped your hand around his, lacing your smaller fingers in his as you pulled him up to a standing position. "I am, too." As usual, you pulled him forward, leading the way as he followed unquestioningly, never caring where you were taking him as long as the two of you were together.

You led him all the way down to the dining hall, where you proudly took him with you to get dinner, never letting his hand leave yours. He gave your palm a tight squeeze whenever believers walked by, and as soon as they saw your intertwined fingers they _knew:_ At long last, you two were together.

And nothing would be able to separate you two.

**Author's Note:**

> Word count: 4.2k
> 
> Notes: oml I'm learning Endless Struggle right now and the fourth page looks like a special circle of hell crafted just for me aka I should have been practicing but instead I wrote this <3
> 
> Comment & Leave Kudos
> 
> I do not own the rights to Mystic Messenger or any of the characters within it.


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